One once said that the strongest drug that exists for a human is another human being. I never understood the true meaning and weight behind that until I met you.
We were 16 when we met, and I was young and naïve to think I had ever known what love was until I locked eyes with you. Finding you, having you, and loving you was all I had ever dreamed about. I craved someone who would love me with passion and intensity, someone who would love me as if I was the protagonist in a romance novel. And that's exactly what you did.
You did everything right. You posted pictures of me. Held my hand in the car. Called me beautiful. Respected my parents. Hung out with my friends. Bought me books. FaceTimed me every night. Brought me roses.
You also did everything wrong. You encouraged my doubts. Pointed out my insecurities. Left me waiting for hours before you would show up. Frequently saw your ex. Stopped me from having any male friends. Used me for money. Threw away my letters to you.
I was with you for close to two years, and I loved you for years after that. I lost 20 pounds in those first few months as I coped with the idea that you didn't want me anymore--the idea that I wasn't enough for you.
You are the only boy who left me not knowing who I was without you. You are the boy I compare each and every person that has come into my life after you to. You are the boy who broke me.
The day you left was the day I knew what it felt like to have drug withdrawls. The day you left was the day I stopped writing.
I am here, four years later, to take that power back. I am here to burn each and every rose you ever gave me.
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